


The Tempest

by Centum



Category: Star Wars: The Old Republic
Genre: M/M, SWTOR, theron shan - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-28
Updated: 2015-12-28
Packaged: 2018-05-10 00:01:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,371
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5560981
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Centum/pseuds/Centum
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>New work as an advisor for the Senate is not the easiest one, and Marnh has to face himself . One-shot, could be a sequel to "Warmth", and I place this happening about a half a year after Marnh left the Imperium</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Tempest

**Marnh speaks:**

I have to get out of this room, right now. If I don't go, I will choke that stupid, fat bantha, that sorry excuse of a Senator...with my mind. So I just walk out. When I close the door behind me, I can feel the rage boiling. Home. I have to go home.

"You are a disgusting creature slave, and you are weak," I hear a voice in my head. Is that Overseer Harkun?

I Seethe. I can feel how I Seethe when I sit in the taxi. I can feel how I Seethe when I walk home. My cells absorb dark energy and the power pulses inside me. My cells are filled with rage. It calls me. I can feel how it tries to find a way out. I shiver. I command it, like I have commanded it for always. I tell it to wait. I look at my hands and I can see the red mist swirling outside of my skin. I'm filled with power. How could these insignificant beings even understand what kind of power I wield, the things I have done? So I killed civilians? I killed all kinds of things! If it has a name, I have killed it! I killed even spirits! Ghosts that were already dead! I can Force walk. I HAVE FORCE WALKED! Even the dead have to obey me! Do you know how many living things can say that? Exactly one, ME! You lowly, unworthy beings, what can you do? Nothing! You can eat and sleep and fuck if you have a good day. You are meant to serve me, why should I even try to serve you?

I open the door and step in. The smell of our home welcomes me. Do you know the feeling when you go home and you can smell it? Isn't it comforting? I try to hang on the feeling of comfort, I try to think of Theron (love I'm so sorry I'm not better than this), but I can't hold this rage anymore. I'm helpless against it. No, I'm not. I want to savour my power. I want to forget my weaknesses. I need to be feared. I was born to command the Force. I need to...

My body shivers and trembles and my teeth clatter.

I stand in the middle of the living room. Somehow I manage to stand on my feet. Electricity crackles, and I can see sparks flying all around me. I have Seethed, absorbed so much energy I can't keep it inside of me anymore. I have overloaded myself. The smell of ozone fills the air, and lightnings dance from my fingers. I remember the names of my skills and how much I loved them once. Shock. Electrocute. Discharge. Ball Lightning. Force Lightning. They whisper sweet nothings to me. They tell me just to give up and use them, everything will be so much easier after that. How many dances have we danced, and didn't I enjoy every one of them? Didn't I feel satisfaction when I commanded the Force to obey me?

All hell breaks loose.

I can hear the glass shattering somewhere. Bristles of the wood fly. That used to be our dinner table. The tempest roars around me, showering havoc. Everything that is not nailed down flies up, and then falls down again and breaks. The electricity burns the rest. My muscles begin to cramp and I can hear myself screaming from pain. Noise, storm, more shattering, pain, so much pain Theron help me!

After that I don't remember anything. The next thing I know is waking up in the bed without clothes, Theron sleeping next to me.

I want to die from shame.

**Theron speaks:**

A strong smell of ozone hits me when I storm through the door to our apartment. I'm just in time to see Marnh collapsing to the floor. I run to him and I can see he is unconscious. In a panic I put my hand on his chest to feel if his heart is still beating. It does, with a steady rhythm. His body is strong in the Force, I don't think he got any physical damages. I'm more worried about his mind.

I have an old friend among Senators and she called me. "I think you should try to find Marnh right now. He just walked out in the middle of the meeting and I swear I saw him Seething."

I grit my teeth. "Red fog and all?" I ask her. "Yes, he is so angry I'm afraid he is out of control."

"Please tell me what happened," I beg her while I hurry home.

Looks like one of the Senators had a special gripe against Marnh. He had been picking him from the day one. Marnh had taken it well, never argued, never lost his temper or said something even remotely disrespectful. Until now. The Senator had thrown into the barring ring some especially nasty deed Marnh had done. During one of his missions my dark, beautiful partner had killed no less than 152 civilians with his own hands. Senator had the evidence to gloat about. He had hammered Marnh to the ground and demanded that Senate stops using services from that "filthy Imperial Sith-scum who probably is a spy and will sell us all to the Emperor." The last straw was when the Senator had suspected that "Theron Shan must be blind and stupid to let such a snake to live with him, and SIS should fire him as a liability." Without a word Marnh had just walked out from the Senate. Seething.

I lift Marnh from the floor and carry him to the bed. His body has small spasms and he moans. His clothes smell of ozone so much I have to throw them in the garbage. "Sorry love, I had to burn your best working clothes. I'll buy you new ones," I whisper to him while covering him with the blanket.

My heart bleeds for him. I had a feeling something like this would happen eventually. For some time I have felt there was a caged animal in him. From outside, he was free, but his mind was not free yet. He still had to purge himself from all the shame and feelings of unworthiness. I hope it is done now.

The mind is a strange thing. We are all born with certain qualities. We have traits in us that simply exist, we did not just absorb them from our surroundings. I certainly was a wilful child since the day I was born, but I have been told that I was a happy little thing too. I'm still wilful, and I'm still easy to please.

I think Marnh's original character is very different from what he had to become. I know he is kind and gentle. He is neutral, a feature that makes him to be a born diplomat. He is honest. He had to be everything else to become a Dark Lord. He had to turn his back to his true self and lie to himself that he is dark, cold, heartless being. He had to freeze his heart, capsule his kindness and gentleness so deep inside him he couldn't feel them anymore. Living with them would have been too painful. It was easier to become numb. Maybe in the end, only feelings he had were anger and need.

My hand caresses his hair and my fingers find his tiniest horns, hidden under the hair. I'm only one who knows about them. I'm only one who knows about his pain and torment. And even to me he has never admitted it. He doesn't want to upset me. He doesn't understand I'm not some fragile being he has to guard and protect, even from himself. Maybe it is his projection. He had to project his fragile side onto me in order to see it at all.

"Sleep now, love," I whisper to him, kiss him on the forehead and leave to clean the mess he has made of our home. Looks like we are going to buy some new furniture.

He sleeps the whole night, a peaceful sleep. Now and then I wake up myself, just to check how he is. In the end he is the one who has woken up earlier and when I finally wake up for good, his side of the bed is empty. I find him sitting on the couch, holding his head in his hands. He looks so small and broken.

"Good morning. Are you better? Would you like to talk with me now?" I ask from him while I sit next to him and put my hands around his waist. He shakes his head. I sigh. Well, at least I can feed him. I make some breakfast, and he eats at least something. I don't try to speak with him, I know him so well by now. He will talk to me when he is ready.

I do some paperwork at home, I don't want to leave him alone. He goes out to the balcony, and keeps sitting there for hours. I can see how his dark head bends down now and then, and he covers his face with his hands. I can only sigh and keep going with my own business. He will go through this.

Finally, he comes to me when I sit on the couch and watch the news. He sits next to me, puts his hands around me and his head on my shoulder. Then he cries. Violent sobs shake his thin body and he howls like a wounded animal.

"Hush love, there there, it is all right, let it come out," I whisper to him and hold him tight. My shirt is wet from his tears. I almost cry for compassion myself. Finally, he calms down.

"I-I'm afraid I will lose you and this life. I'm afraid you despise me for what I have done. Like I despise myself. I've been so happy with you. I like being here. But what if the Sith in me never leaves? Do I carry my past with me for the rest of my life? What if I'm never at peace with myself? What if being with me harms you? These are the questions I ask from myself every day." His voice is tired and harsh.

"Love, it is useless to try those tricks on me. I stay with you, no matter how hard you try to get rid of me. And who despises anyone here? Let's see, one time I pushed this one button and BOOOOOOOM, there goes a whole station full of people. They gave me a pay rise for it." I say with a nod. Finally, he smiles at, least a little.

I keep talking to him:

"You are so hard on yourself because you think you have to punish yourself for being a Sith. It was not your choice to become one. You were made to be a Sith by others. Everyone will forgive you, believe me, but you have to forgive yourself first. It was not your fault. It was not your choice."

He still doesn't say anything.

I sigh deeply and continue:

"Maybe you will always carry the Sith inside of you. Is it that bad? Being a Sith doesn't equal as being a monster. It is up to you how you use the Force in you or if you use it at all. I loved you just as much when you were a Dark Lord. Maybe all it takes is for you to accept the Sith inside you and stop battling with it. You didn't want to be a Jedi, so no one expects you to turn into a Saint just one night. Just be yourself. Kind, gentle, honest person with a dark past."

Marnh looks down, wipes his eyes and finally speaks:

"I always thought I'm a weak Sith. I had to hide my weakness. It was hard work."

"It was never a weakness. You are just a very loving person. Only one of many reasons why I love you so much." I kiss him for a long time. I can taste his tears, and there is still a faint smell of ozone in his skin.

"I have to face them all tomorrow," he sighs. I study his face carefully , and his eyes are just as bright yellow and his skin is just as light and clear as it has been for some time now. I'm releaved. It was only a lapse and he will be alright.

When Marnh walks to the front of the Senate, I stand in the shadows, ready to step out if I fucking have to. I refused to let him go alone. He was grumpy about it, but no can do. I'm wilful. He doesn't look down, his back is straight and his voice is steady:

"Honourable Senate, I ask for your forgiveness for walking out in the middle of the meeting, and so abandoning my work. I couldn't control myself, and I had to leave in order to protect everyone in this room. I'm not a perfect being. I make mistakes. I believe in facing my mistakes rather than denying them. I was a Dark Lord, and this Senate was well aware of it when giving me a post as an advisor. I was loyal to the Imperium because that time it was expected from me, and I did what I thought was for the Imperium's benefit. Always. I will never deny my past. But my future is with the Republic. If my past is something that prevents me from working for the Republic, being loyal to the Republic and do what I believe benefits the Republic, please, let me know."

Marnh stands still and looks straight to the Senate. I'm so proud of him I could burst. That's my man right there, isn't he awesome?

Leader of the Senate looks at Marnh for a moment and then says: "Could the advisor take his place among other advisors and secretaries so we can begin the meeting. We have important issues on our agenda today."

The advisor does as he is told to.


End file.
